Dear Diary: Cake is Good

Today I woke up feeling unseasy from a dream I had. It's kind of a recurring dream where I meet this little girl, and then she turns out to be a ghost and she haunts me for a while so I can help her and her family realize she is a ghost. Then she disapears.

Anyways, aside from that weird dream today was a pretty calm day. I woke late as usual, and in the afternoon I made one of my favorite things: mug cake! Except I don't make it in a mug anymore, but in a bowl. It's so delicious and quick and easy! I hadn't had one in a really long time because I feel very guilty about eating something like that when I'm not working out. But it was good :)

My mom made homemade pizza for dinner, and it was delicious. I had been craving pizza for quite a while now, so that made me happy.

Happy Birthday to Me.

According to my birth certificate, 19 years ago I was born.


I really don't like birthdays. I feel awkward being congratulated and asked: "What does it feel like to be 19?". It doesn't feel different. I will feel awkward when later on I have to say my age and I hesitate in a mental battle that goes something like:
-I'm 18, I mean 19, I mean, yeah 19...

Also I feel like I have to be the center of attention the entire day, and that I need to act entertaining for everyone. I also feel awkward opening gifts. What if I don't like it? I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling, I wanna be thankful. What if it's cash? I like cash, yet it's not something that will take my breath away. What if I don't get anything? Well that would suck, yet it would be great at the same time.

I also feel like I need to have a smile fixed on my face the entire day. My face hurts when I smile for too long. Even if it is genuine. If it's not genuine, my face trembles.

But yet here I am: "Another year older, but none the wiser". I'm just glad I'm healthy, and with my family. That's enough to make me happy. Happy birthday, to me :]

Where's my cake?!!

My brother bought a game called "Portal" the other day we went to Target. I'm not really into video or computer games, because I'm not very good even if I try. But today my brother brought his laptop downstairs to my mom's room, so she could play. It was funny because my mom had never played a computer game before, so it was funny to see her play. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and I would never make fun of her in an insulting way... but this was funny to see. After my mom gave up and decided she wanted to watch a TV show instead, my brother insisted that I played the game for a while. I did, and I must say that it is frustrating for me to play, but I got the hang of it pretty quickly.

So I ended up playing the game for a couple of hours, I even missed the "What the Buck" live show. The game was cool, sometimes it was hard, but my brother was guiding me along, which made it way easier. I got attached to the companion cube way to fast, and I later was traumatized by the thought that I had to euthanize it. Also, I was promised a cake at the end of level 19, but it turned out to be a lie. A LIE!!! So after that, I ended up I guess playing the actual game; which was a million times more complicated. I got frustrated and so did my brother, so I just told him that I didn't want to play anymore.

It is a fun game, but I don't think I'll play again... And I'll probably have a couple of nightmares with that computer voice, it turned really freaky after it promised me cake, and then tried to burn me alive, and then promised me a party...