I really don't like birthdays. I feel awkward being congratulated and asked: "What does it feel like to be 19?". It doesn't feel different. I will feel awkward when later on I have to say my age and I hesitate in a mental battle that goes something like:
-I'm 18, I mean 19, I mean, yeah 19...
Also I feel like I have to be the center of attention the entire day, and that I need to act entertaining for everyone. I also feel awkward opening gifts. What if I don't like it? I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling, I wanna be thankful. What if it's cash? I like cash, yet it's not something that will take my breath away. What if I don't get anything? Well that would suck, yet it would be great at the same time.
I also feel like I need to have a smile fixed on my face the entire day. My face hurts when I smile for too long. Even if it is genuine. If it's not genuine, my face trembles.
But yet here I am: "Another year older, but none the wiser". I'm just glad I'm healthy, and with my family. That's enough to make me happy. Happy birthday, to me :]
